Recently at church, we sang a song called “Withholding Nothing.” It’s a simple song as far as lyrics as music. It goes as follows:
I surrender all to you
everything I give to you
I give you all of me
King Jesus! My Savior!
Forever, I give you all of me
I have been on worship teams in our churches for the last 15 years or so—ever since I peeked over John’s shoulders as he was learning piano and his wonderful teacher said, “Heather, you need to learn, too!”
Our worship team in that church was very talented, but lacked a keyboard player. (Not because they couldn’t all play, but they preferred other instruments!) They were so very kind to let this new piano player join and play chords with them, and I have loved it ever since.
I always played keys or piano, but at our current church, I serve on the worship team as a singer. This worship team is phenomenal in talent. Once again, I am humbled to be a part of it. It is one of my favorite things I do here.
However, as often happens when something becomes normal in my life, I tend to critique or file things away for later. When it comes to worship music, sometimes I have a “better” way of doing it in my mind. I end up not worshipping but rather just singing or performing. This especially happens when the words are in another language and I can’t always follow what is being said.
However this song was in English, and familiar. It was the last song of the worship set. I closed my eyes to sing, and it suddenly hit me. Hard. “Withholding nothing.”
Wait… How could I sing this song? As the words washed over me, I found myself praying, “Search my heart, Oh God.”
And he, in his vast love for me, started showing me all the things I withhold; all the things I refuse to surrender to him and not trust him with: Our children. Our money. Our future here. This church. My time. My reputation. My marriage. My hopes. My dreams.
As I go into the new year, I get this sense that God is asking me if I really mean those words, if I’m really withholding nothing. It comes with a combination of a feeling that I am to be a life-giver this year rather than the cynical, critical person I tend to be in and of myself. How do those things work together? Can I truly hold tightly on to my own things—my own self—and be a life-giver? A truth-speaker?
Can I trust God enough to give everything to him?
Lisa Bevere, one of my favorite writers right now, recently blogged that in a moment of passion in church she once asked God to excavate her heart. Suddenly, panic-stricken at this idea, she tried to backtrack. But God had other plans.
Can I truly ask God to help me withhold nothing?
Maybe the better question is, “Can I not?”
What is God asking you in this new year?
This post was originally published on wallacesinafrica.com. Used here with permission.